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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24928549">The Same</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarahell/pseuds/Sarahell'>Sarahell</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Grey's Anatomy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abandonment, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, soft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:02:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,181</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24928549</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarahell/pseuds/Sarahell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex is gone. Jo is broken, just as she was starting to recover. Meredith is devastated for everyone, including herself.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex Karev/Jo Wilson Karev, Meredith Grey &amp; Jo Wilson Karev</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Same</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>After Alex left both Jo and Meredith, they have no one to lean on but each other.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jo Wilson was a survivor. She'd fought her way through a life that could only be described as some sick and twisted version of hell on earth. Abandonment, foster homes, abuse, depression...and then Alex left her. The man who'd seen past her tough exterior and loved the girl behind the mask, the love of Jo's life. But now he was gone, and Jo couldn't even find it in herself to be mad at him, Alex had a family, children who he wanted to watch grow up. Children who he didn't want to abandon like he'd been abandoned by his own father. Jo could understand that better than anyone and so she wasn't mad. Just numb. </p><p>She couldn't remember how she'd made it to Meredith's house. After Jo had read Alex's letter 3, maybe 4 times, everything had gone numb. Jo felt nothing, something she knew Meredith Grey would understand completely. She let herself into the old house and flinched when the door slammed shut behind her. It was still an odd feeling to let herself into Meredith's house with such ease, it had been only 5 years ago when she'd first met Meredith- the seemingly scary attending who'd come with Alex as a package deal. Jo felt threatened by Meredith at first, and she was pretty sure that the feelings were replicated in the older woman but then something changed. Something clicked with the two woman and now Meredith was the first person Jo called when she needed help (Aside from her now ex-husband).</p><p> Jo barely noticed the party of people in Meredith's living room: Bailey, Link, Amelia, Maggie and Webber had spread themselves out across the couches, Jo wasn't sure if they were guests in the house or living there. Everyone had stayed at Meredith's at one point so it was always hard to keep track of its current residents. It was home to a lot of people. Without staying to chat, Jo headed up the stairs and away from the curious glances of her colleagues, she knew Meredith would be upstairs after just putting the kids to bed. Jo knew she'd spend extra time with them, having to process the news of Alex leaving. The poor kids, Zola loved her uncle. </p><p>"Hi" Jo turned the corner into Meredith's room. The surgeon lay flat on her bed, facing the ceiling, a conflicted expression on her face. At the sound of Jo's voice she turned her head to face the girl and smiled softly. </p><p>"I was wondering when you'd get here" </p><p>"You knew I was coming?" Jo frowned. </p><p>"Of course I did, Jo." Meredith pushed herself up onto her forearms "Come on then" she said, gesturing to the empty space on the bed next to her. Jo let out a small sigh of relief at the fact that Meredith hadn't turned her away and slipped off her shoes. She collapsed onto the bed besides Meredith who watched her with something like devastation in her eyes. Jo ignored it and shut her own. She hadn't realised how exhausted her body was until she'd taken the weight from her feet. Jo felt like she hadn't breathed properly in months, like a sack of bricks had a permanent place on her chest, crushing all life from her body. </p><p>"Alex and I use to do this all the time, you know?" Meredith said after a few moments of silence, Jo opened her eyes. "He'd come into my room, flop onto my bed and complain about his day. Then he'd ask if I'd had anything to eat and if he could cook the kids waffles" Meredith was staring at the wall, tears stung at her eyes but her mouth was stretched into a nostalgic smile. </p><p>"He has his own kids now" Jo whispered. </p><p>"I know"</p><p>"Do you...do you feel anything?" the younger woman asked, turning to face Meredith who nodded. </p><p>"I think I'm happy for him." She chuckled "Alex is an idiot for leaving us in the way he did but...I can still remember the way he use to be. The intern who didn't know what he wanted from life. The intern who was so angry all the time, and with no friends or family to turn to. That's why when I picture Alex now all I can see is happiness because he's finally getting the chance to be something his father wasn't...even if it wasn't with the person I wish it was" Meredith gave Jo a pointed look. </p><p>"I wish it could've been me too, I just... I feel so numb Meredith. But not like before when I found out about my mother, this is more like, like..."</p><p>"Like you feel so much it feels like nothing" </p><p>Jo nodded "Exactly"</p><p>"It's going to take a while to get your life back without him. Moving on without the love of your life is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do" A glimmer of pain flickered across Meredith's face. "He'll be the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning, the first face you see for a long time, but then one day, he'll be the second, then the third, until on a boring Wednesday evening you sit down for dinner and suddenly it hits you that he hasn't crossed your mind all day." The surgeon took Jo's hand. "And you won't have to do it alone. I know you like to thing you can do things by yourself but take it from someone who's been in your position...you need people." </p><p>"You use to hate me" Jo grinned, failing to keep her tears at bay. </p><p>"I did" </p><p>"So what changed?"  </p><p>"I saw what Alex saw in you. And eventually realised that we're one and the same, Jo Wilson." </p><p>"The same?" Jo frowned. </p><p>Meredith nodded. "Maybe not entirely but our brains run on the same wire. We push people away because we're scared of getting close, we keep things in because we don't want to scare people away. We don't process our feelings so we end up feeling numb with all the built up emotion" She raised her eyebrows at Jo. "Much like you're doing now." </p><p>Jo bit her lip. It wasn't her fault, everything just felt so...heavy that she couldn't even begin to understand what she was feeling. She'd had enough of emotion for one year. "I'm just really really tired." she croaked leaning towards Meredith who pulled her in for a side hug. </p><p>"Hey" she heard Meredith say from above her. "Wanna have a slumber party?" </p><p>Jo choked on her own tears. Laughter bubbled up from her throat and escaped her lips as a loud bark, "Since when did Meredith Grey use the words 'slumber' and 'party' in the same sentence. Oh god" </p><p>"Wilson" Meredith warned, half amused half annoyed. "Remember how you use to call me Medusa?" </p><p>"Can we have popcorn?" Jo butted in, ignoring Meredith's empty threat. </p><p>"What?"</p><p>"For the slumber party?" </p><p>"Oh so after making fun of me you still think that's happening?"  Meredith raised her brows. </p><p>"So no popcorn?"</p>
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